1. Are you 18 or older? We want to know if anyone is under 18 years of age. Being under 18 will not bar you from participating in our community. Rather, this will allow us to gauge who is acting inappropriately toward minors.
Yes indeed. I am almost 30 -laughs-
2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much? You can be brief. This is intended to help us provide useful feedback in your approval.
Yes. I ran several characters on the old RWBY rp site.
3. You may include an optional (SHORT!) Roleplay sample for people to read that gives a feel for your character in writing.
Erin sat on the low brick fence that framed the garden and frowned. She didn't care too much what other people thought about her, as a faunus raised by a single mother one tended to grow thick skin, but it was another thing entirely when someone was talking badly about someone else. One of the things she hated most in life was when people created drama when there was no need; she couldn't stand people who went out of their way to embarrass others or make them think less of themselves - even more so when they tried to make others hate people they didn't even know. The question was how involved should she get in a situation where the person being targeted didn't care. Not every situation requires a reaction but certainly she should step in when someone's name and reputation were being dragged through the mud. How was it fair to attack someone from the dark?
Erin Cherrywood
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Erin Cherrywood
- Posts: 155
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:34 pm
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - Racoon Tail
- Aura Color: Gold
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Vertigo
- Weapon Name: Urumi Pendulum
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Bartok Evergreen
- Posts: 253
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:13 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Faunus (Vampire Bat)
- Aura Color: Blood Red
- Occupation: Student
- Semblance Name: Bleed and Drink
- Weapon Name: Coiled Sting
Heeeey, Eeeeriiin! You made it! My day, that is. And my, that profile and semblance. I would love for you to get close enough to use it on me. Send my head spinning, girl! I vote yes to allow my dear friend in.
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SheidelII
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2020 10:47 pm
- Age: 0
- Gender Identity: Male
- Occupation:
This is really minor, but could you change the mentions of a penny made in Erin Cherrywood's Outfit Description and Backstory, such as the black laced, red ribbon necklace with a penny, to a coin or even a Lien coin instead of a penny? Pennies are a real-world currency, so I'm only making this suggestion to help with immersion for the setting. Keeping real-world references from being mentioned is all.
In her Backstory, it says that Erin unlocked her "symbol" during class when staring at her teacher. Is this a typo where you meant to put "Semblance"?
I would like for some elaboration to be made about this part of Vertigo's mechanics:
"She usually has to purposely activate her semblance but intense focus can trigger it unwillingly."
"Intense focus" as it is can be misunderstood as Erin focusing her Semblance and not her attention as it seems to imply. Clarifying the wording would help make the distinction. Something along the lines of "Erin can accidentally trigger her Semblance if she focuses intensely on something without meaning to activate it", for example.
Maybe consider using vague terms in place of the time-sensitive mechanics. "Brief" instead of "split-second", "short while" instead of "half a minute". Another thing worth mentioning would be how it interacts with other people's Aura, like if the intense nausea and spinning can be somewhat mitigated by focusing one's Aura to fight it off. Another thing about Vertigo that I would like to know is if its effect can be sustained for extended periods. The examples you gave were about Erin using it in short bursts that last no more than half a minute or so from brief eye contact. The Aura mitigation and extent of eye contact concepts could work together where eyewear can block the effects of Vertigo, but expending more Aura and/or maintaining longer eye contact strengthens Erin's Semblance so that eyewear isn't as protective anymore. These are just some suggestions for your consideration.
I don't know if this is just me, but I can't view the link you put in the Character Picture section of the profile.
The only things that I think would need a bit more work would be Erin Cherrywood's Semblance, Vertigo, as well as the other minor things I mentioned. Use whatever suggestions as you'd like.
In her Backstory, it says that Erin unlocked her "symbol" during class when staring at her teacher. Is this a typo where you meant to put "Semblance"?
I would like for some elaboration to be made about this part of Vertigo's mechanics:
"She usually has to purposely activate her semblance but intense focus can trigger it unwillingly."
"Intense focus" as it is can be misunderstood as Erin focusing her Semblance and not her attention as it seems to imply. Clarifying the wording would help make the distinction. Something along the lines of "Erin can accidentally trigger her Semblance if she focuses intensely on something without meaning to activate it", for example.
Maybe consider using vague terms in place of the time-sensitive mechanics. "Brief" instead of "split-second", "short while" instead of "half a minute". Another thing worth mentioning would be how it interacts with other people's Aura, like if the intense nausea and spinning can be somewhat mitigated by focusing one's Aura to fight it off. Another thing about Vertigo that I would like to know is if its effect can be sustained for extended periods. The examples you gave were about Erin using it in short bursts that last no more than half a minute or so from brief eye contact. The Aura mitigation and extent of eye contact concepts could work together where eyewear can block the effects of Vertigo, but expending more Aura and/or maintaining longer eye contact strengthens Erin's Semblance so that eyewear isn't as protective anymore. These are just some suggestions for your consideration.
I don't know if this is just me, but I can't view the link you put in the Character Picture section of the profile.
The only things that I think would need a bit more work would be Erin Cherrywood's Semblance, Vertigo, as well as the other minor things I mentioned. Use whatever suggestions as you'd like.
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Erin Cherrywood
- Posts: 155
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:34 pm
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - Racoon Tail
- Aura Color: Gold
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Vertigo
- Weapon Name: Urumi Pendulum
I believe I addressed all of SheidelII's feedback, but please let me know if there is something I missed or if something needs rewording.
The image link might not have worked because it was on my facebook which is set to private (something neither Bartok or I would notice since we're FB friends) so I just uploaded it to deviantart and used that link.
The image link might not have worked because it was on my facebook which is set to private (something neither Bartok or I would notice since we're FB friends) so I just uploaded it to deviantart and used that link.
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Myron Hyles
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2020 4:58 am
- Age: 18
- Gender Identity: Male
- Race: Human
- Aura Color: Turquoise
- Occupation: Student
- Semblance Name: Sleeping Spell
- Weapon Name: 40 Winks
Imma vote Yes.
She has very unique fighting style and weapon, plus I love the art.
I am a bit confused about where it says her fighting style helps circumvent the dizziness she can suffer. Do you mean that her acrobatics train her against it, or that they prevent it ?
She has very unique fighting style and weapon, plus I love the art.
I am a bit confused about where it says her fighting style helps circumvent the dizziness she can suffer. Do you mean that her acrobatics train her against it, or that they prevent it ?
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Erin Cherrywood
- Posts: 155
- Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2020 9:34 pm
- Age: 17
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus - Racoon Tail
- Aura Color: Gold
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Vertigo
- Weapon Name: Urumi Pendulum
Train her against it. The constant spinning around and stuff means she had to develop a way to fight through the dizziness herself. I'll add that in her profile to clarify it more.
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Kailyn Keison
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 8:57 am
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus (Crotalinae) - Pit Organs (internal)
- Aura Color: Black
- Occupation:
- Semblance Name: Gravitas
- Weapon Name: Daii Shonnara and The Fingers
Heeeeeyyy, another spinny lass to go with Lauren! Take my 'yes' vote!
Kailyn's speech color is 99ff00.
Her theme song is a banger.
You can find EPs for all my characters here.
Her theme song is a banger.
You can find EPs for all my characters here.
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Vlithra Qing Long
- Posts: 232
- Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:00 pm
- Age: 19
- Gender Identity: Female
- Race: Faunus (White Tiger, stripes and pale skin)
- Aura Color: Viridian-Green
- Occupation: 1st Year Student, Tattooing-Assistant
- Semblance Name: Kinetic Discharge
- Weapon Name: Viridian Naraka and Carnassial Talon
I'm going to vote Yes.
Can't see any issues and I simply love how unique she is.
Can't see any issues and I simply love how unique she is.