Jade black

A collection of the previously approved/denied character's applications complete with feedback posts for future reference.
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Total votes: 3
Jade Black
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2022 6:09 am
Age: 17
Gender Identity: intersex female
Race: dragon Faunus wing +fire gland
Aura Color: Jade green
Occupation: beacon student
Semblance Name: Masquerade
Weapon Name: judgement and dispair

1. Are you 18 or older? We want to know if anyone is under 18 years of age. Being under 18 will not bar you from participating in our community. Rather, this will allow us to gauge who is acting inappropriately toward minors.

yep i am 27 years of age

2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much? You can be brief. This is intended to help us provide useful feedback in your approval.


I have over ten years of roleplay ranging form ttrpgs to forum based role-play

3. You may include an optional (SHORT!) Roleplay sample for people to read that gives a feel for your character in writing.
"What do you mean you're not coming to atlas adcamey with us next year and that you are moving to vale?" the
said white haired boy with the gears in his head. "Da I'm going to beacon it has been great living with you guys but dandelion works most of the time and your mother comes by to visit so much.

And she hates me she hates all fauns really it's so stuffy and uncomfortable there, plus the cold weather puts me to sleep, and I can barely move most days." Jade said, her thick atlasion accent coming though as a smile pulled at her black panted lips. Before it fell once more back to its normal scowl when she sees who was watching them talk. She wanted nothing more than to not face the mother of the boy behind her and the woman she will one day marry.

"What are you doing here, Miranda March? "I am here to make sure my daughter doesn't marry a freak of nature from some forgotten tribe of human loving monsters fauns should marry other fauns and humans should only marry humans, a sergated rimment is the only way our kinds can live in peace otherwise war is the only answer." "dah and that ended so well for your kind last time you tried that." She said with easy sarcasm as she pulled her arm back and got ready to pull the trigger built into her gloves. She heard the click of the bullets loading into the gun's camber of despair. She turned to see the younger teen stand next to her as he pulled out his dust blade and the two prepared to square off ageist the woman standing in front of them.
User avatar
Al Ciendra
Posts: 402
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2021 5:13 am
Age: 18
Gender Identity: Female
Race: Faunus (Wolf-Ears and Fangs)
Aura Color: Orange
Occupation: Beacon Student
Semblance Name: Volcanic Heart
Weapon Name: Arcum and Gladio

Just no.
You addressed TWO of the SEVERAL issues we mentioned in your two previous approval threads, that being the functionality of her guns and her fighting style.
Everything else still makes no sense and is just not up to par, please read up on your previous approval threads and address the issues mentioned.
Al chatters in #FF5500
User avatar
Nocte Fabri
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2023 1:29 am
Age: 18
Gender Identity: Female
Race: Faunus (Wolf Ears)
Aura Color: Gunmetal Grey - 818589
Occupation: Beacon Academy Student (First Year)
Semblance Name: Chainstrike
Weapon Name: Unkindness

As Al has said, there are several glaring issues with the character. While a couple have been addressed, many yet remain.
For the sake of brevity, I'll refrain from repeating myself here. The feedback you were given in the archived thread still applies, and I would strongly advise reading it carefully and acting upon it, before resubmitting again.
User avatar
Bartok Evergreen
Posts: 252
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2020 11:13 am
Age: 18
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Faunus (Vampire Bat)
Aura Color: Blood Red
Occupation: Student
Semblance Name: Bleed and Drink
Weapon Name: Coiled Sting

I as well refrain from repeating myself here. Please reread the past approval threads. And then maybe read them about four more times. And then please act on them. Otherwise, you're always going to be met with 'No's. It's not going to happen as is. You're tiptoeing when you need to be leaping.
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