Torman Elba

A collection of the previously approved/denied character's applications complete with feedback posts for future reference.
Locked

Is it time for Sawblades and Explosions?

Heck Yeah!
2
100%
No Thanks.
0
No votes
Perhaps...
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 2
Torman Elba
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2022 1:07 am
Age: 19
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Faunus (Mosquito)
Aura Color: Blue
Occupation: Student
Semblance Name: Dampen
Weapon Name: Hum

Yes, I am indeed over the age of 18. I have a fair amount of past experience roleplaying in forum settings, having been in several in the past and one other currently. I always have difficulty with writing a roleplay sample, as I find it difficult to get in the right mindset without context, so I will abstain. I will admit I am unsure of the finer details of power scaling here, so I'm unsure if I made my character's semblance too powerful. It just didn't feel like much of a substantial effect at less. The range is fairly limited and its drawbacks are everpresent, so hopefully that balances things out well enough.

Hopefully it's also not too confusing.

Also, if you find any spelling errors or grammatical mistakes, please point them out. It'll only bother me later if you don't.

Edit: I've decided to pause Torman's review process for the time being as I plan to make several edits to his gear, as well as his app's wording. These edits are largely for specification or flavor, as well as altering how Screech fires. They're not major enough for me to feel it's necessary to take him out of the review process and start again, but I would feel bad if I didn't at least warn potential reviewers that some words are getting moved around and more detail getting added.

Edit 2: Torman is once more ready for review. I did end up making more changes than expected, including the loss of a weapon, the increased versaility of the other, a moderate restructuring of his semblance, and the fact that he is now a faunus. The lattermost change is not just because I find his trait an amusing idea, but also because I find it interesting. Anything to do with Torman being a faunus has been left out of his backstory, mostly to bring more attention to the fact that his isolationist nature is an integral part of him with or without a weird tongue, but also because I just don't like the idea of a single trait defining so much of his character. It's just there, and I chose it because the 'weirder' types of faunus aren't often represented, despite them providing so much potential for unique interactions and a new perspective.
Last edited by Torman Elba on Fri Apr 22, 2022 6:55 am, edited 7 times in total.
User avatar
Chain Dupp
Posts: 30
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2020 10:51 am
Age: 19
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Black
Occupation:
Semblance Name: Edge of Tomorrow
Weapon Name: Blade of Today

The bigger the boom, the smaller the pieces.

You've got a well-fleshed-out concept here. Dampen's effects are well-defined on both axes (flexibility and limitations), and you've noted the problem with having a .50 pistol (namely, that it kicks like a BITCH), so I don't have any issues there either.

Let the kaboom commence.
Chain doesn't brood in 8d918d.

You can find EPs for all my characters here.
User avatar
Professor W B Copperfield
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2021 9:58 am
Age: 42
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Transparent light blue
Occupation: Professor of Dust and Semblance Usage, Beacon
Semblance Name: Forzare
Weapon Name: Foci and Rod

A student after Copperfield's own heart. A Dust mechanic with a very interesting Semblance. Maybe the only one to be able to effectively counter Copperfield's own fighting style.

Though, on his Semblance, I do have two points I would like clarified. I also sent these to you on discord, but here they are:

1: Dampen lessons the efficiency in which energy is transferred to Tormon, but does that mean that some of that energy doesn't apply to him or negated? Where does that energy go? Or do things just take longer to affect him? This leads into the second point.
2: You talk a lot about the physics of the Semblance, but what are the practical applications of this? What happens if he gets shot with a bullet, slashed at with a sword, hit with an Aura blast from some sort of Semblance? Having a paragraph or two that details how someone should expect this to work would be great.

I'm holding my vote of 'Yes' for when this is clarified.

Edit: With those edits made, I'm voting yes!
Last edited by Professor W B Copperfield on Sun Apr 24, 2022 12:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Torman Elba
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2022 1:07 am
Age: 19
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Faunus (Mosquito)
Aura Color: Blue
Occupation: Student
Semblance Name: Dampen
Weapon Name: Hum

I've redone the first two paragraphs of Torman's semblance. The points you made should hopefully be resolved.
Locked
  • Information
  • Who is online

    Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest