Victor Valbrand

A collection of the previously approved/denied character's applications complete with feedback posts for future reference.
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Who among ye would approve this lad?

Aye
3
100%
Nay
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 3
Victor Valbrand
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:09 pm
Age: 17
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Silver
Occupation: Student, Beacon Academy
Semblance Name: Eye of the Maelstrom
Weapon Name: Fangs of Victory and Bastions of Freedom

1. Are you 18 or older? Yes, I was born in 1996

2. Do you have past experience with collaborative writing or roleplay, and if so, roughly how much? I have approximately 12 years of experience doing play-by-post rp, as well as experience with four tabletop systems (D&D5e, Call of Cthulu 7e, Pokemon Tabletop United, and LANCERs v1.3 and earlier).

3. Roleplay sample

"Véra! Sterling is gone! We need to go before we're next!" A Huntsman in his mid-20s put his hand on the shoulder of his companion, watching in horror as a Beringel rampaged through the courtyard their friend had just died in. "Maggie got most of the survivors out, let's sweep the village quickly to find any stragglers and get out of here." The man hefted his axe onto his shoulder and started running to his left, leaving the right side to Véra. She exhaled, steeling her resolve and gripped her rapier tight. "Okay. No one else needs to die today. I won't allow it," she said to herself as she turned and started running, using her sharp eyes to look for anything out of the ordinary. This small village in the middle of the wilderness of Anima was a prime target for Grimm attack, why didn't they have a Huntsman to protect them?

Véra was startled from her thoughts by the sounds of screaming ahead. She ran quickly, rounding the corner in time to see a young woman torn asunder by an Alpha Beowulf in front of her husband and a young child. She felt a burning anger building inside of her, which she quickly extinguished as she forced herself to regain her composure and control her emotions like a true Huntress. "No more," she reminded herself. She readied her rapier and stepped forward. "Hey! This way you stupid mutt!" she called out, getting the beast's attention... Or at least that had been her intention. Instead the Beowulf ignored her and swung at the child, knocking him bleeding to the ground. The man tried to tackle the creature in a rage only to be picked up and slammed to the ground. As the Beowulf went to bite the man's throat, Véra leapt into action far too late. As her blade sunk through the flesh of the Beowulf's chest, she could hear the sickening crunch of human flesh and bone. Tears rolled down her cheeks, her own failure to act caused these innocent people to die.

It was the sound of crying behind her that brought her back to the moment. Suddenly the smell of smoke seemed much thicker, and she realized the buildings nearby where on fire. "It's spreading faster than we'd anticipated," she observed before turning to see the child crying on the ground, his arm bleeding where the Beowulf had struck him. "Hey, easy, I've got you," she said reassuringly as she sheathed her rapier and tore a strip of cloth from her shirt, wrapping it tightly around the wound as a makeshift bandage. "Is that better?" she asked soothingly as she pet his head. The boy wiped his eyes and nodded solemnly. "What's your name? I'm Véra Noire." "I-I'm Victor," the boy answered. "Victor Valbrand." It was then that the wall of the building collapsed behind them, burying the bodies of Victor's parents beneath bricks and burning wood. "Come with me, we're getting out of here before we end up dead too," she said as she picked the child up, holding him to her chest. She looked around closely, seeing only dead bodies and burning buildings remaining in this area, so she began running as fast as she could carrying the child to the rendezvous point outside the village where she was to meet with Magenta and Braun, the two surviving teammates she'd been friends with since their days at Haven Academy.
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Jericho Galley
Posts: 97
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2021 12:09 am
Age: 22
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Sea Green
Occupation:
Semblance Name: Helping Hand
Weapon Name: Drunken Sailors

Victor, another fellow sailor! And sea shanty lover! My own (rather limited) knowledge of swords and weights and balances and stuff aside, I approve of Victor! I would like to see a better RWBY fusion of melee and ranged weaponry here, but hey, techincally not against the rules. Jericho and Victor should meet up at some point and sing sea shanties!
Jericho sings shanties privately to himself in 00FFBF
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Professor Wednesday Haptasnytrir
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2021 11:04 pm
Age: 39
Gender Identity: Female*
Race: Human
Aura Color: Grey
Occupation: Professor, Huntress
Semblance Name: Hliðskjálf
Weapon Name: Gungnir and Valföðr

Second to freedom, he values style, often going out of his way to please his own sense of aesthetics, even going as far as practicing fight choreography in order to perform certain actions in a way that suits his sensibilities.
I love it, haha.

I haven't got much to say about Victor Valbrand that would prevent him from being approved.

Maelstrom's Eye could probably use some clarification as the wording makes it somewhat confusing. Describing it as an "area of sensory awareness" that scales off of his normal sight with caveats about how certain materials at certain thicknesses can block its awareness ability might be a way to go. Maybe going into "seeing vs sensing" as well. The bit about being able to "see" through flooring, I think, is unnecessary as it's something that's already covered when describing the Semblance's abilities and weaknesses. It does make a good example to illustrate those points, so you can use it for that. These are simply my thoughts on his profile and not required changes. Other than that, Victor Valbrand is in a good place. I approve.
Mindful and talkative, wouldst thou gain wisdom
Silent and thoughtful and bold in strife
#AEAEAE
Extended Profile
Victor Valbrand
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:09 pm
Age: 17
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Silver
Occupation: Student, Beacon Academy
Semblance Name: Eye of the Maelstrom
Weapon Name: Fangs of Victory and Bastions of Freedom

Jericho Galley wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 5:46 am
I would like to see a better RWBY fusion of melee and ranged weaponry here, but hey, techincally not against the rules.
I intentionally had them as seperate weapons. It's both a matter of aesthetics, and there is plenty of precedent for non-multifunctional/transforming weapons (Jaune's sword, Ironwood's revolvers, Yoshihatsu's greatsword, etc.) so I thought a dual-wielding swashbuckler would be better off with weapons that are more simple in nature, but of course no pirate is complete without a pistol or two. As I explained in Discord, I think revolvers are cooler than flintlock pistols, and far quicker to reload, so he ended up with dual swords and dual revolvers.
Professor Wednesday Haptasnytrir wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 7:54 pm
Maelstrom's Eye could probably use some clarification as the wording makes it somewhat confusing. Describing it as an "area of sensory awareness" that scales off of his normal sight with caveats about how certain materials at certain thicknesses can block its awareness ability might be a way to go. Maybe going into "seeing vs sensing" as well. The bit about being able to "see" through flooring, I think, is unnecessary as it's something that's already covered when describing the Semblance's abilities and weaknesses. It does make a good example to illustrate those points, so you can use it for that.
For his semblance I recycled an idea from a previous RWBY OC based on Madara Uchiha. Basically the idea is "sharingan but not OP" based on the fight scene where Madara solos the Ninja Alliance in the desert. However this character is in a less.... harsh setting and with a less harsh backstory than that OC, so I actually thought I should tone it down a bit. The whole seeing through material seems a bit much honestly but I wanted to see if it would be acceptable here as is before making any changes, because it seems like it would be a handy ability for a sailor and a swashbuckler.
User avatar
Professor Wednesday Haptasnytrir
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2021 11:04 pm
Age: 39
Gender Identity: Female*
Race: Human
Aura Color: Grey
Occupation: Professor, Huntress
Semblance Name: Hliðskjálf
Weapon Name: Gungnir and Valföðr

For his semblance I recycled an idea from a previous RWBY OC based on Madara Uchiha. Basically the idea is "sharingan but not OP" based on the fight scene where Madara solos the Ninja Alliance in the desert. However this character is in a less.... harsh setting and with a less harsh backstory than that OC, so I actually thought I should tone it down a bit. The whole seeing through material seems a bit much honestly but I wanted to see if it would be acceptable here as is before making any changes, because it seems like it would be a handy ability for a sailor and a swashbuckler.
If you feel that seeing through material is a bit much with this current iteration, you can change it so that instead of it being a base ability, you could have it as a concentration based mechanic. In order to see through things, for example, he would have to expend more Aura or concentrate more to do so with thickness and material type requiring varying levels of either Aura or concentration.

You could even make it so that he can "see" through himself to widen his field of vision to be all around him.

Just some ideas.
Mindful and talkative, wouldst thou gain wisdom
Silent and thoughtful and bold in strife
#AEAEAE
Extended Profile
Victor Valbrand
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:09 pm
Age: 17
Gender Identity: Male
Race: Human
Aura Color: Silver
Occupation: Student, Beacon Academy
Semblance Name: Eye of the Maelstrom
Weapon Name: Fangs of Victory and Bastions of Freedom

Hmm, I hadn't considered such limitations. That's actually a much better idea than eye strain honestly. I might do that actually.

Edit: I made the changes.
Vlithra Qing Long
Posts: 77
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:00 pm
Age: 19
Gender Identity: Female
Race: Faunus (White Tiger, stripes and pale skin)
Aura Color: Viridian-Green
Occupation: 1st Year Student, Tattooing-Assistant
Semblance Name: Kinetic Discharge
Weapon Name: Viridian Naraka and Carnassial Talon

I don't see anything in his profile that would prevent him from getting approved. Him being a human raised in Menagerie makes for quite the interesting concept of an open minded and free individual.
He would surely get along with Vlithra, albeit his running mouth would probably get him in trouble with her at first. So here, take my Yes vote.
"Nobody preaching about justice is ever a good guy."
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